Miscellaneous Part 4 (Average, Ordinary, Everyday Craziness)

China is a country in the throes of development. Here in Taian, things are just getting going and it gives me many occasions to laugh. Trevor and I went to a place near the apartment complex to get something to eat. There was nothing extraordinary about this place—not too fancy, not the biggest dump here—just your average restaurant. Like many of the restaurants here, dining is done in a private room but unlike in some places where we go with a big group that give us our own room, this place has booths with a curtain. As we are talking, I look around the booth and notice how dirty the walls are. Fifty or so years of grubby hands and God knows what else smeared all over it. The second thing I notice is how ugly the lamp on the wall is. The third thing I notice is that the curtain for the booth is similar to the car seat-covers I have seen: pink, lacy, embroidered with flowers. It is such a mish-mash, juxtaposed collection that is so China!

I mentioned in a post shortly after I arrived that I had a solar heater for hot water. When I returned from Greece, I found that the pipes (or something) were broken because I would send the water up to the heater but it wouldn’t hold it; the water leaked down the walls and onto the floor in my bathroom. I called my go-to guy for issues with my apartment and he came and took a look. I got no assessment of what was wrong or when it would be fixed so after a couple weeks went by I inquired again. This time, he brought the owner of the apartment and they both looked around; again, no assessment, no information about fixing it. Yesterday, I found out that the owner has decided that the problem (whatever it might be) would be too expensive to fix so I must go without hot running water (though I still have the electric heater for my shower). I had never learned this before but apparently, hot water doesn’t exist here—its not considered a necessity—so unless a person has a solar heater or an electric heater, boiling water is the only option.

I’m also waiting for the heat to be turned on in my apartment. It has been getting colder here, often dipping below freezing at night but the heat in buildings is not controlled by thermostats in rooms. Heat is all state controlled. My heat was supposed to come on the day before yesterday but it has yet to be turned up. So for now, whenever I’m home, I’m usually wearing my sweats under my robe, some thick socks and my slippers, and I sit at my computer curled under a blanket. This way, the only part of me that is cold is the hand on the mouse.

The heat is not on at the school, either. This is not really a problem in the classrooms because they place them all on the side of the building that gets sun in the afternoon and there are 60 or more bodies to keep the room warm. My office, on the other hand, is not populated nor on the sunny side of the building so it was freezing. It didn’t really bother me too much because I didn’t spend too much time there and I figured I would just have to wait till they turned the heat on because the radiator was right next to my desk but they had other ideas. On Thursday, they had me move all my stuff, and they moved all the furniture to the fifth floor so the office would be on the other side of the building. I have to say, I’m not really thrilled about having an office on the fifth floor!

Over the summer, my assistant got married. I, unfortunately, missed the ceremony because the people I was riding with to get there got lost but like in America, it is popular to have a film of the wedding made and I borrowed the DVD so I could see it. It was very shocking, but perhaps unsurprisingly so. The first part was Ricky and Janet at the park before their wedding day, running through the field, him pushing her on the swing, that sort of stuff. The next section showed pictures taken at a studio where they would dress up in different outfits and be put in different scenes like dressed as private-school children at a subway station or dressed like they were going to Hawaii on a boat. The day of the wedding had some interesting rituals. They greeted each other’s families like we have a receiving line but they gave and lit a cigarette for each person. Perhaps the most shocking thing, however, was during the ceremony, Ricky’s cell phone rang (he had it in his pocket) and he answered it!! It is true that there is no cell phone etiquette here but I couldn’t believe he paused in his own wedding to answer the phone! (Actually, I think it was us telling him we were lost.)

There are three parts to the following video. The first is a refreshing hint of culture. Every night during the summer, some musicians would play at the park entrance and women would come with fans (some in traditional outfits) and do a dance-like walk. I think it was mostly for exercise. Trevor called it the senior citizens dance club. The second part of the film is a shot of the restaurant I described above. I had to go back with my camera so you can see what I’m talking about! The third part took place earlier this week. Whenever someone of importance dies, there is this really depressing music playing. It will play all day. Then, at night, we get an even more depressing song. I only caught a little bit of it but you’ll understand. Lucky us, someone of importance dies once every two or three weeks.

Greece

I had two reasons for going to Greece. The first is that, for those of you who don’t know, I study historical European fighting and am a member of the ARMA (Association of Renaissance Martial Arts). There is an ARMA study group in Athens who hosted a training event. (This means that part of my luggage was my four-foot practice longsword.) The second reason is because I really needed a vacation and, come on, it’s Greece!

My adventure to Greece began on Friday, September 27. I taught two classes at the middle school then went home to collect my bags before heading to the bus station. My bus was scheduled to leave at noon and it would take me seven and a half hours to reach Beijing. No problem, I had a book to read: Erica (God bless you!) sent me Twilight. The bus was destined for West Station, a hub for the trains and busses crossing China. My plan was to meet up with another fencer who lives in Beijing so we could do some sparring then I had a hotel reservation at a place near the airport.

While I was preparing Tuza’s ten-day food supply, which looked like it could feed a herd of elephants, I got a call from Fairy. I had asked her to call the train station to find out how I could get back to Taian once my returning flight landed in Beijing. She gave me some bad news: the train from Beijing to Anshan left at 11:00 pm and arrived at Anshan at 9:00 am. I was already missing three days of classes and if I took this option I would be missing a fourth. From what I could gather, the bus would be my best option but there was no way for us to get the ticket ahead of time. There was really nothing I could do but assess the situation when I got to Beijing—not really a comfortable option for a planner like me.

The bus ride was uneventful except for the part when we stopped at some station and everyone gave their ID card to a police officer for inspection. I wasn’t really sure of the purpose of this but it seemed like they were keeping tabs on who was traveling where—just another example of the freedoms US citizens take for granted. When they got to me, the best I could produce for them was my passport. They were trying to ask me questions but I didn’t understand them so, although they didn’t look all that comfortable with it, they moved on.

When I got to Beijing, the bus decided not to go to West Station, much to my annoyance, but just stopped on the side of a street, booted me and my bags off, and a man pointed down the street and then made a right hook with his finger. I guessed he was telling me the station was that way. I did find it but I wasn’t anticipating how big it was. It took me a much longer time to find the fencer than I had anticipated. When we finally did find each other, we discovered that the park we had intended to go to was closed so we ended up sparring in a grassy spot near an intersection. Luckily, some trees offered at least a little privacy or we might have attracted too much attention. After we finished we had dinner together (I’ll let you guess where we ate) and I asked him the best way to get to the hotel. He said there was a subway that ran from the city to the airport and then I could take a taxi. Sounded like a plan to me. He got me to the subway station and we said good-bye then I continued on to find the train. Except for a few employees, the station was abandoned and I shortly found out why: the trains had stopped running for the night (it was about 11:00 by this time). I found my way back out to the street and hailed a cab. I had the name of the hotel written in Chinese so I showed it to him. He just looked at me and said something in Chinese. I didn’t understand—it gets really annoying—but I guessed he didn’t know where to go. Luckily, I had also written down the number of the hotel so I called them and handed the phone to the driver. Eventually, he figured it out and got me there (it was past midnight). Exhausted and relieved, I go to check in only to discover that the hotel did not have my reservation. They offered me a room but at 140 RMB more than the room I had reserved. I talked them down 100 RMB before giving in.

It was a 10 hour flight from Beijing to Amsterdam, where I caught a 3 hour connecting flight to Athens. By the time I boarded the plane in Beijing I only had a quarter of my book left to read so finding a book store in Amsterdam was a priority. I was elated that I found one with two more books in the Twilight series in English. Some good luck at last!

I arrived in Athens at 1:00 am, which is a horrible time to be arriving in the first place but made worse because I had a ferry ticket to the island of Milos scheduled to leave at 1:00 pm that same day. It seemed like such a waste of money to get a hotel room for a few hours so my plan was to find a corner of the airport to rest before heading down to the docks. My second piece of luck changed that plan. One of the ARMA members from Athens, Stefanos, was meeting me at the airport to take my fencing equipment so I wouldn’t have to carry to the island with me. He felt so bad about leaving me there that he offered to take me around the city on his motorcycle. I actually wasn’t feeling that tired so it sounded like fun to me. We left my bags with a friend of his and did a night-tour of Athens. Since the hostel I had booked required me to book the room, not just the bed, I ended up paying for two beds and asked Stefanos if he would like to come to Milos with me. I was delighted that he was able to because it was so nice to have an English-speaker around (and he could translate for me to those who did NOT speak English) and I think you can get the best flavor for a place when you travel with a local. As a bonus, Stefanos brought his motorcycle to the island, which turned out to be very useful.

The island itself was everything I’d hoped it would be: quaint, quiet, beautiful, with a touch of history. Everything seemed so wonderful to me, I had to laugh at myself. Taian is constantly full of the sounds of construction, barking dogs, and honking horns. Even as I write this, that is exactly what I hear. On Milos, the only sound I could hear in the morning was a couple of birds singing. We went to a bakery and I ate a cookie that was so good I almost cried for missing baked goods. The untouched, wild countryside, though scrubby by comparison still seemed so lush when contrasted to the carefully planted farms that fill my temporary home. When we visited a serene bay, there was a heard of goats nearby. Each one was wearing a bell so when they moved it sounded like a tribal band. The old and ancient structures were so clean in their lines and colors, especially compared to the bright and flashy styles preferred by the Chinese. I had a wonderful time just BEING there. Unfortunately, I finished the second book and discovered to my horror that I possessed the fourth and was missing the third. Stefanos promised me that we would look in Athens and, by some miracle, we were successful in finding a bookstore that carried it in English. Another disaster avoided.

Of course, one cannot visit Greece without touring the Acropolis. Impressive seems too inadequate a word but that is what I remember feeling standing amongst the ancient pillars. There was something commanding about the buildings like they radiated wisdom from the things they had seen—ancient, old, and modern. I did find it odd, however, that they seemed to be agonizing over the preservation and/or restoration of the structures but I witnessed a stray dog taking a leak on them.

The ARMA Hellas group is about 20 members strong. The weekend of the training event, we were joined by three guys from ARMA Poland and two guys, who are also friends of mine, from the States. It was so good to see some familiar faces, I can’t even put it into words. The weekend passed in a blur of good food, good wine, and good company—my three favorite things! Our Greek hosts were so extremely accommodating and generous it was almost embarrassing.

The end of my trip also went more smoothly than I had expected. I had called Fairy before leaving Beijing and told her that I was not successful in procuring a ticket home but I told her I had an idea. I have a student whose mother lives in Beijing and I knew this student would jump at the chance to help me out so I asked Fairy to ask Ricky to ask this student to ask her mother if she could help me out when I got back to Beijing. I was a bit nervous about this going through so many people but Fairy sent me an email with this the mother’s phone number in it saying to call her when I arrived. I thought she went a bit overboard because not only did she meet me at the airport but she paid for the taxi to the bus station, bought my ticket, treated me to lunch, got me some snacks for the road, put me on the right bus then called her friend in Taian to pick me up since, once again, the bus would be stopping roadside rather than going into town. I tried refusing her generosity but the Chinese don’t take “no” very easily.

The funny thing is, when I got back to Taian and saw the plastic, lit-up palm trees that look like some warped imitation of Vegas style, I felt like I was home. I guess this place with all of its quirks has grown on me more than I realized.

Back to School

We are now several weeks into the fall term and there are some things that are the same (and have been that way for as long as people here remember, I’m sure) and there are some things that are different.

The students are still excited to see me, which is one of the nicest things about this job. I’ll still get applause if I dress particularly well or if I do something different with my hair. I am, however, beginning to struggle for things to teach them. There is a whole world of possibilities but they are tempered by lack of resources (if I could print pictures off the internet things would be soooo much easier to explain) and language limitations. I can teach them a lesson that requires them to learn new words but I have to be careful not to overload them with new words or they get overwhelmed (or bored).

I’ve been trying to get the students to ask me more questions both so they get practice speaking English and so I can understand what they know/don’t know better. I’ve gotten some questions that make me wonder about their impressions of America. Several students have asked me if military service is compulsory. Some have asked me if everyone owns a gun. The headmaster of the school in Anshan said he saw "American Pie" and he wanted to know if people really have parties like that. Many times they want me to compare America and China, which always makes me uncomfortable because they are extremely nationalistic so if I compliment China, it is a personal compliment and if I tell them something I don’t like it is a personal insult. So, I will always point out differences with, “not that one is better than the other, they are just different”.

The students who were Level 2 last year are now in Level 3 (their last year of high school) and they don’t have a lesson with a foreign teacher. The Level 1s I had last year have also moved up and the middle school students who scored high enough on their tests are now Level 1s. What is odd is that I recall that last term thinking that my Level 2s were not quite as engaging as my Level 1s and it seems to hold true this term. I guess when they are new to the high school they are really excited to be there and so they pay more attention and try harder but by their second year, the thrill of the new school has worn off. Trevor has said he noticed the same thing.

It has been very nice to have Trevor here so there is someone to laugh with about the surrounding craziness or grumble with about the things that are frustrating. A couple days after he arrived, we were walking around and passed an old man who tried to spit on the sidewalk, only it didn’t work too well, and he ended up with a slobber string dangling from his chin. It was really funny looking but it wasn’t until I heard Trevor laughing beside me that I started to laugh too…and then I couldn’t stop. It was in that moment that I realized how long it had been since I had laughed really hard about something because you really need someone there laughing along with you to sustain the joke. I think this term will be a bit easier if for no other reason than Trevor and I can keep each other in good humor.

On Friday, I will be leaving to go to Greece for a week so my next post will be my out-of-China experience!

Thoughts from Trevor

I asked Trevor, the new American teacher who arrived in Taian about a week and a half ago, to write a guest post for my blog of his impressions of China. This is what he sent me:

We Americans describe the word diarrhea as: (di·ar·rhe·a) Excessive and frequent evacuation of watery feces, usually indicating gastrointestinal distress or disorder.

However, if you ask a Chinese person about diarrhea, they would would respond with,"What is diarrhea?"

You see the Chinese have no such word, because every bowel movement they've ever had has been diarrhea.

As far as the Chinese are concerned, there is no such thing as a piece of solid fecal matter. If they were to ever pass a solid piece of poop they would probably think they were sick. No doubt they would rush to their local hospital where they would be tested for every medical condition from high blood pressure, to the HIV virus.

Rumor has it that a man from Taian once had a case of solid fecal matter so severe that he had to fly to Beijing for a CAT scan. Once in Beijing, the man was held for nearly a month for medical research.

Diarrhea is just as much a part of Chinese culture as chopsticks, or wearing the same pair of clothes everyday.

Though we Americans find the symptoms of extreme cramping and excessive pain associated with diarrhea to be uncomfortable, the Chinese actually find it to be a rewarding experience. They don't just like to have diarreah; they love to have diarrhea. Sometimes, having diarrhea is the best part of their day. When a Chinese person wakes up in the morning they say,"What a beautiful day! The only way to make this day more beautiful would be to doo-doo on myself." There are only a few causes for diarrhea in the U.S., which include food poisoning, dehydration, and watching Varsity Blues. Causes for diarrhea in China include literally everything. You don't even have to ingest food or liquid to get diarrhea. Taking a walk can cause diarrhea. Playing cards can cause diarrhea. Having an IV put in can cause diarrha. Even having diarrhea can cause more diarrhea.

The Surgeon General's warning on a pack of American cigarettes will warn of the dangerous of cancer and damage to unborn babies. On a pack of Chinese cigarettes, you will find a disclaimer from the cigarette manufacturer that reads,"Smoking cigarettes will cause anal leakage. The makers of this product and their subsidiary companies bareno responsibility for the staining of any underpants. Please enjoy with caution."

On a personal note, I believe the Chinese take great pride in their diarrhea, or at least should. The diarrhea here has got to be the most foul and disgusting substance ever excreted from a human body, ever. Each sloppy mass is more horrifying to look at than then next. Just the thought is enough to make me vomit. I would rather watch a bullet go through a person's eye than look at some of the diarrhea here. My hope is that the the witnessing of these horrific viewings will not haunt me in my dreams for years to come. Here's to you China, and your diarrhea.

Qian Shan

The Liaoning Province is not a huge tourist destination but one place that the people here are very proud of is Qian Shan (Thousand Mountain) National Park. Altogether it is 125 sq. kilometers, 44 sq. kilometers (about 27 miles) of which is planned for sightseeing. It is a place sacred to both Buddhists and Taoists. They say that, "There is no peak that is not marvelous, no rock that is not precipitous, no temple that is not quaint, nor any place that is not quiet." I'm not so sure I agree with the quiet part but the drone of insects was a welcome change to the sounds of construction and traffic that I usually listen to.

When I arrived at the park, one of the first things I passed was a station with little open-air carts like the things Disneyworld uses to transport people from the parking lots. I was so excited to be in nature, however, that I opted to walk. I was given a map (albeit a rough one) but I chose to mostly ignore it. I was in my element! Tons of places to explore and all of them spectacular! So I wanted to just wander wherever struck my fancy.

I passed a couple of old ladies foraging in the woods. This place, one of the only undeveloped places I've seen, is a source of the more "wild" plants such as herbs for medicines.

I had only been walking for about ten or fifteen minutes when I became aware that I was being followed. The guy wasn't being particularly secretive about following me but when I made it apparent that I had noticed he tried to speak to me but I couldn't understand what he was saying. I called my assistant and let him translate over the phone and he said that because I was a foreigner and I was there alone (and of course the Olympics were cited), this guy was supposed to follow me around for my protection. I was really annoyed by this because it is difficult to be immersed in the grandeur of the mountains and the serenity of nature when someone is tailing you. I told Ricky to tell the guy to go away (in nicer terms) but Ricky said he couldn't.

I lost him soon enough when I veered off the main road onto a side path that began climbing higher and higher. I wasn't sure where I was headed and it turns out I was beginning the climb of my life--up the highest peak in the park. There were stone stairs that I was climbing but don't think it was any easier because of it! The stairs kept getting narrower and narrower and more and more steep. In some places they were no more than four inches wide and probably ten to twelve inches high. Sometimes the stairs were carved into the mountain itself and sometimes they gave up on stairs altogether and simply carved footholds in the rock. I'm not sure how high I climbed but it was definitely challenging and exhilarating. It turns out that there were two ways up the peak and I had taken the more difficult of the two (which I probably would have chosen anyway). When I finally reached the top, the views were absolutely breathtaking. The drama of the rising and falling of the thousand mountains is the kind of landscape China is known for. It was incredible to see the temples perched on the ledges like eagle's nests.

There are over thirteen temple sights in the park and I only got to visit some but the ones that I did see were very impressive. All of them were wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling bright paint, murals, carvings, statues, candles, flowers, incense, bells, offerings, and more. People came to the temples to pray and pay respects. The air was filled with the heavy smell of burning incense and some of the incense sticks were so large they looked more like very large fireworks.

After climbing back down from the first mountain, I decided to take the cableway up another one, which again offered some magnificent views. From this location there was a mountain top walk, which I decided to take. It was two miles of stairs. Yes, my knees and my muscles are feeling it today.

I feel like I finally got a chance to see some of what China has to offer so I get some satisfaction out of that. Qian Shan was a breath of fresh air on so many levels. I will be returning to teaching tomorrow but, of course, I don't know what the schedule is!

To Market, To Market

This post is long overdue. One of the most fascinating places here, the market, is also one of the most notable as a symbol of town-culture in China. The market is a street, maybe a half mile long, with shops on either side and running down the center is the farmer's expo.

I did not record everything I wanted to from the market mostly because I was feeling extremely self-conscious. I am conspicuous enought but when I have a camera in my hands... I decided to add commentary to the movie rather than talk as I was recording.

The Other School

A while back, I decided I wanted to make a little extra money so I began looking for a second job. All of the teachers I know here (not that I know many) taught extra classes at other schools as free-lance jobs or taught private lessons. Most of the teaching opportunities, however, were in Anshan, which is a two-hour bus ride from Taian so I was not really keen to commit myself to making that trip every weekend.

My opportunity finally came a little over a month ago when I negotiated with a private language and music school to teach some classes for them. It was a bit of a rocky start since they failed to inform me that they had schools throughout the Liaoning Province that they wanted me to teach at and I got a little upset on the first day when I was ushered into a car by people I didn't know and who didn't speak English and taken to a village. Since then, however, things have been ironed out and I've really enjoyed the classes I've done for them. The students are younger than my high school students. Their ages range from six to about eleven or twelve and their bright-eyed excitement in class is a breath of fresh air and a teacher's dream. They have a desire to learn that can only be found in places where school is unimportant if not denied entirely.

A couple of weeks ago, this school had a "party", as they called it (I would call it a promotional concert), here in Taian. It was sort of a celebration of the Olympics. They asked me to sing as part of the show and I agreed, if for no other reason than to show them my appreciation for giving me my second job. I had a little trouble coming up with a song. I rejected a suggestion that I sing "Fat Bottom Girls" by Queen (thanks anyway, Ben) and I didn't want to sing something they knew already or I would be singing "My Heart Will Go On". In the end, I settled on "Sunrise" by Norah Jones. I had a karaoke version for my iPod, which I was told, they could plug into the speakers for me.

I enjoyed the concert because I got to see the children play some traditional instruments including a hulusi. This instrument has three bamboo flutes that pass through a gourd. They also played a dizi, which is another type of flute, and the guzheng, the plucked zither. I've included a short video of some of the performances. The last bit is the school's teachers. You can hear in the video how awful the sound was. You know that screechy noise when you have the volume turned up past the capacity of your speakers? Well, multiply it for how loud things were. What was even worse was that when it was my turn, I found that the speakers for the music projected on the stage but the speaker for the microphone did not so I couldn't hear myself. It was terrible, and I only know because I gave my camera to a friend. I will NOT be posting that performance, however, I will add a captured image. And just so you can appreciate the magnitude of this embarrasment, I've included a shot of the crowd. I'm pretty sure half of Taian was there.

Unfortunately, a representative of the high school called me and said that I shouldn't be teaching for this other school. I've tried to understand why, since as I've said, other teachers have extra classes, and they only reason I can get is that it has something to do with the Olympics. I am being told that it is a governmental decision that all classes must stop for the Olympics but I'm not sure I believe it...I think there is something else going on. I'm still investigating this and I hope we can get it all straightened out.